Now we wait....I hate to wait

Waiting is not one of my best traits-I am known for my impatience. Just tell me now, I need it now, I want it now. Hayden is the same way-but he's just 2. This does not bode well as both Doug and I are not known for patience-although parenthood has helped us improve a lot.

I had my biopsy today-I was face down on a table for an hour as a probe took samples for testing. The last time I was facedown on a table for that long I was getting my second tattoo done-it was more painful in that there was no anestesia-but I guess my tolerance for pain is quite high since I almost fell asleep. Not this time. All the noises, everything happening underneath you so you can't see anything. I also couldn't move-not one muscle, or they would have to start the process all over again.

Lucky for me I was cooperative and everything went off without a hitch.

Now we wait, I hate to wait. Especially for news like this-which is potentialy life changing. Funny-in times of severe emotional stress, I tend to want to subject myself to pain-the pain of tatttoos. Ask Belinda, she'll tell you about my first tattoo. My mom was going through triple by-pass surgery, my then boyfriend (now my bastard ex-boyfriend who really doesn't deserve this much space) broke up with me that same night. I was a wreck. Belinda knew it but supported me anyway. I told her-I'm getting a tattoo tonight and you're coming with me. All she said was-"kay"... I don't regret it, I love my tattoo-but it needs to be reworked a bit.

My second tattoo happened when my mom was going through her breast surgery-mastectomy and lumpectomy. My sister from Seattle was here and we in solidarity for my mom got pink ribbon tattos-mine has angel wings, and hers has a seahorse holding a pink ribbon in it's tail.

Now the waiting for the biopsy (the procedure itself scared the hell out of me), and waiting for the results is driving me crazy. I don't want to stress eat anymore-as I need to lose weight. (It doesn't help that I work walking distance from Sprinkles and Crumbs). I really don't want to take up smoking again-as I don't want to jeopardize my health that way-so I am feeling the need for some ink. It's calorie free and won't mess up my lungs.

I think I will wait-as I don't want to do something permanent on a whim and have it turn out really crappy. Besides-Sandy wants to go with me so I'll wait.

I think I'll get a babysitter for Friday night, go to the shooting range (yes, guns) and rent some big toys and shoot the hell out of some paper. Then go to Panns for some fried chicken...

Thanks so much to all of you who have sent me good thoughts and well wishes. This has helped me more than you will ever know.

I should know the results in a couple of days....until then I have to wait.